It makes your vagina hurt

I’m talking about Spinning.  Spinning kills your vagina!  Well,  I guess a more accurate way to describe it would be that Spinning hurts the tissue/muscles around the vaginal area.  A lot.  I just got back from Spinning class at the YMCA.  I’m sure that most of you have heard of Spinning.  And, FYI, I am going to refer to it as Spinning (not cycling) because it makes me sound cool.  And now I can talk about cool things like fly wheels, cadences’, and saddles when I hang out by the water cooler chatting with all of my really cool co-workers.  It can be described as an intense cardiovascular workout that’s done on a stationary bike.  I have been doing the Spinning class since about mid-January.  The class is done a dark room with heart-thumping, glow stick-type music.  I sweat like a whore in church and breathe like a horse so I assume that I’m getting a decent workout.  I encourage everyone to give Spinning a try if you get the chance.  Unless of course, you happen to be the proud owner of a vagina. 

The first time I participated in a Spinning class  my vagina and the surrounding areas were in serious pain and then I think they actually went numb.  It was a really uncomfortable and strange feeling.  It was the same pain as when your climbing over a fence and your foot accidentally slips and it feels like your pelvic bone went through your skin.  Have you ever done that before?  

Anyone who knows about working out knows that the day after a hard workout is when the soreness really starts to set in.  The day after my first Spinning class was brutal.  Sitting in a chair sent needles up my spine.  Sitting on the toilet to pee was awful.  It made me feel like all of the muscles  down there were being pushed out.  That’s not a pretty picture is it?  I was worried that this pain was going to make it nearly impossible to do the next class which was only a day away.  The pain subsided by the time the next class rolled around or so I had thought.  But when I put my weight down on that tiny, skinny, “saddle” I screamed a little on the inside!  It was that sort of pain like when someone punches you in the same arm that you got punched in last week.  I pushed through the class, hurt vagina and all.  Within a few weeks I was able to do the class without any pain.  I guess you sort of build up the muscles or something down there.  Or maybe it’s all numb and I just can’t feel anything anymore. 

Ladies, if you’re thinking about taking a Spinning class-do it!  I don’t mean to scare you-only inform.  The vagina pain will eventually fade, you’ll get in shape, have fun and you’ll be able to pretend your cool because you do Spinning.  I haven’t been able to get T to do a Spinning class yet (he’s scared) but when I do I’m sure I will have another post about the pain that a male experiences during the class.  I can’t imagine Spinning with a set of balls down there getting all squished and in the way. 

Here’s a picture of the bikes that we use for our Spinning class:

 Notice the skinny saddle.  Ouch! 

P.S.  I did have a really long, witty post with more detail about the sanitation aspect of Spinning, but the Internet disconnected or something and I lost the last half of the post.  I wanted to cry and then punch someone in the face.  I guess I’ll have to save that info for another day.  And it will mention the words crabs and AIDS.  Bet you can hardly wait!!